Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Coming in to Twilight


So I am finally getting on the Twilight bandwagon. I just finished the last book yesterday, and it was a very enjoyable story. While my connection to the story was not as, er, VIVID as some I know, I was just as sucked in and wanting to know what happened next.

Everyone knows that this is not now, nor will it ever be, some great classic piece of literature, so I began to wonder what it was that was so very compelling to the female of our species. And it came to me: Edward is the ultimate female fantasy. He's gorgeous, educated and rich, he's strong, and just the right amount of forceful. He's kind, thoughtful, funny and a gentleman. Apparently he's no slouch in the sack, and what woman doesn't flutter just a bit at the idea of having someone love you so completely that he would literally rather die that remain on an earth that didn't have you on it anymore?! And I defy you to come up with an emotionally functional woman who's never had the fantasy of having the hottest guy in the world fall completely, irrevocably, passionately, and adoringly in love with her, never to look at another woman again.

And what woman can't identify with some part of Bella? Bella,who does not see herself as she actually is, but sells herself far short in most respects. Her story is every woman's fantasy in a lot of ways, too. She has a husband and a child, and while her pregnancy may have been hellish, it was, what, 3 weeks long?! No one who has been through that last month of pregnancy hasn't had that fantasy. THEN, she becomes immortal at the age of nearly nineteen and therefore, has no stretch marks! No cellulite! No wrinkes or Botox or plastic surgery in her future! No siree, Bob! I am all over that action!! No hormones or birth control. And parenting!! She'll never deal with the terrible twos or teething or really even puberty. While most of us spend roughly 20 years getting our offspring to the point where they won't totally blow it, she's got seven! She doesn't even have to worry about if her daughter will meet a nice guy. Then she gets to have a centuries-long honeymoon with her hot-beyond-belief husband, who is hot ONLY for her.

Gimme summa dat!

1 comment:

Melain said...

Ya, that pretty much sums it up!